Lost already

Navigation has got me completely, ashamedly, LOST.
Understanding?
Unavailable, when I'm unsure of my desired destination,
and even my current lodging location

The creeping fear that I'm,
Perpetually lost,
disjointed
Looking from one map
to another,
confused by all the symbols.
I DON'T HAVE THE KEY
Lost already before even finding me
Who
Why
What
Where am I?

Always chased and colliding with a frustrated
How
do i?
How
can i?

Will I?

I don't have a clue how to solve the mysteries of my mind,
It's to difficult when my clammy hands are tied,
Still, I must find out how to find me,
but I'm blind.

Grizzly Bear Care

Grizzly in your cranky cave,
Everyone's unwelcome.
So I'll tap queries upon qwerty,
And forward them as memo.

My sweet tweet will pump your heart up,
And you'll smooth your silky fur,
When you realise in this typing,
You've caused this birds lines to blur.

So solid and so black,
My linear thoughts were calloused,
Till you grizzled in my thinking
And liquefied my malice.

Perhaps there is a way of peace,
Perhaps its time to bare,
And change my moulting feathers,
To a new and softer pair.

Grizzle I admire you,
I'm proud but I am scared,
For behind the grizzly beauty,
Is most powerful of bears.

Perhaps there is a way of peace,
Perhaps brittle bird will soften,
Since grizzle re-ignited,
What bird had long forgotten.

Save it in a Memo

I hope I remember when I'm sagging, decrepit, lamenting my youth,
How it felt to be 19,
6months,
and in love


The fire in my hair is sure to burn out with my senses and libido,
But I will preserve somewhere, my love of this boy/man/human/god/creature that has me typing at 3.26am,
and has painted my mind a moody violet watercolour - jealous and frightened. 
Lonely in his silent absence.


Come back so I can love you more,
Tirelessly.
Still scared of heartbreak,
Not yet soiled by it.